I’ve been battling crippling depression for about 5 years now but it’s come to a point to where I can’t go a waking moment in the day without contemplating suicide. The threat is getting more real every day and I’m afraid I might do something stupid if I can’t find any relief soon. Im scared shitless right now of what my thoughts are telling me to do and I dont see any clear way out. At this point I dont want to get better. I just want to die and there’s little to no hope for my future.